26 Best Dialogues & Quotes From The Office With Wit & Humor

If you are someone who works in a corporate, on sitcom you would have loved in ‘The Office’. Spanning almost 8 years from 2005 to 2013 with a total of 9 seasons, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company would have certainly reminded you of your workplace with egoes running high, work pressure taking a toll on the best people and the never ending office drama.

‘The Office’ has been a critically acclaimed series with several awards and accolades to its name. It’s dialogues packs a punch of wit and humor. With characters like Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute, a great line is always on the cards in this series.

We bring you the best dialogues and quotes from The Office.

Let’s being with the best Michael Scott quotes!

1. “If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.” – Michael Scott

2. “Nobody should have to go to work thinking, ‘Oh this is the place that I might die today.’ That’s what a hospital is for. An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest. To the max. An office is a place where dreams come true.” – Michael Scott

3. “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.” – Michael Scott

4. “Whether you’re scared of dying, or dying alone, or dying drunk in a ditch, don’t be. It’s going to be ok.” – Michael Scott

5. “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl, so I’m wise and have worms.” – Michael Scott

6. “They always say that it’s a mistake to hire your friends. And they are right. So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get!” – Michael Scott

7. “Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.” – Michael Scott

8. “I’m not usually the butt of the joke. I’m usually the face of the joke.” – Michael Scott

9. “Abraham Lincoln once said that ‘If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North’, and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.” – Michael Scott

10. “I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40 I had less money than I did when I was 30.” – Michael Scott

11. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott

12. “And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do..” – Michael Scott

13. “I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.” – Michael Scott

14. “The worst thing about prison was the dementors.” – Michael Scott

15. “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” – Michael Scott

16. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” – Michael Scott

Andy Bernard quotes…

17. “My heart belongs to music. But my ass, belongs to these people.” – Andy Bernard

18. “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them.” – Andy Bernard

While Michael Scott delivered some of the best punchlines in this show, Dwight Schrute quotes also hit you hard!

19. “People underestimate the power of nostalgia. Nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses, second only to the neck.” – Dwight Schrute

20. “I am fast. To give you a reference point. I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.” – Dwight Schrute

21. “’R’ is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it ‘murder’ and not ‘mukduk.” – Dwight Schrute

22. “The eyes are the groin of the face.” – Dwight Schrute

23. “Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim, is actually my friend. But, because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy so actually Jim is my enemy.” – Dwight Schrute

24. “In the Schrute family, the youngest child raises the others. I’ve been raising children since I was a baby.” – Dwight Schrute

And finally some, Kelly Kapoor quotes from The Office

25. “I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?” – Kelly Kapoor 

26. “Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself.” – Kelly Kapoor

The quotes from The Office would certainly be as relevant in your workplace as it is in Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Which one is your favourite? Comment below!

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